2020 – A Year in Review

2020 has been a strange year. A year where the world has lost its track and I (somewhat) found mine. It started badly, where all sorts of things went wrong, and in the middle of the rumbles I finally realised that I had noone to blame but myself. My mind cleared up and for the first time in many years, I saw through all the mistakes I’ve made, within my relationships, romantic and otherwise. The power of taking charge of your own thoughts, your own words, your own actions and your own life has been groundbreaking. I stopped being a people pleaser, I stopped seeking for outward validation, I stopped holding on to what has been lost. And started to say no, to fight and to take risks. Small steps, so small steps, yes, but for the first time in the last few years, I can confidently say that I have a healthy look on life and people and things.

I wrote on my planner on the first page for 2020 that this year, I would learn to say ‘Je t’aime.’, learn to open up my heart and heal my wounds and rekindle my relationship with love itself. It was a promise to learn about, accept, respect and love myself, because only then can I start loving people, truly love and understand and respect them with all the flaws and the beauty human beings can have. Once I settled and made peace with myself, I ventured out to talk and meet new people, with an open heart and a calm head. It was not about find romantic love but rather to train myself to open up and be at ease with people, finding my way back to sympathy and empathy. It has not always been easy, but gradually, things started to change, within and without myself. Along the way to find back my loving self, I was lucky enough to stumble upon a kind-hearted someone who, for the first time, I can actually talk to about everything and anything, and at length and width.

And lastly, with art, this year was also the year where I ventured to experiment different styles and media, to test myself and break a boundary or two. Charcoal, pen and ink, sepia, conté, graphite pencils, and most excitingly, Chinese brush painting, which has become my favourite. I enjoyed the process but still haven’t been able to keep up the practice as often as planned, which is a shame to myself. I still remember when we were fresh out of college, I told my friends that I’ll work in development for 10 years, and around 35, I’d quit and focus on making art. So this is it, this year is the year when I have to make more effort and be more focus and consistent to step by step achieve my own little dream.

BEST OF 2020

Books

• 1984 (horrifying and troubling and touching and extraordinary)
• Of Mice and Men (short and shocking and full of humanity between the lines)
• Gone with the Wind (audio version, very lively and interesting as it is presented in a different format)

Dramas/series:

• The Queen’s Gambit (absolutely!!! This is definitely the cherry)
• Secret Forest 1 (too good to be true 🙂 )
• Mad Men ( truly a masterpiece!)
• Romantic Doctor Kim 1

Movies

• 1917
• The Darkest Hour
• Little Women
• Notting Hill

Moments to remember

• Our first date
• My writing got published
• First celebrated Xmas with lovely people

2021 GOALS

Personal

1. Listen more to my own needs and wants
2. Take care of my own body
3. Be gentle, mindful, kindful, timeful

Professional

1. Practice, patience and persistence
2. Try new things, be it styles or skills or subjects or media
3. Share your creativity

Relationship

1. Develop couple rituals
2. Have mutual projects and activities
3. Have patience, understanding and support for each other

2021 RESOLUTIONS

1. Practice art regulary – 3 days/week, then every day – commit to 1 piece/week
2. Renovate the website – new theme, new decoration, new portfolio
3. Get back to writing regularly – updates on blog, diary entries, art journals
4. Have an online presence – share your art works and writing
5. Live within your means – save and prepare for a career change
6. Learn Go seriously – get to 10 kyu
7. Advance in Ikebana – finish level 1
8. Find an apartment and decorate it
9. Learn to live together in harmony – have a system for housework, finance and quality time
10. Read the classics.